I honestly rarely ever get on my tumblr anymore & i’m not even posting this for any reason I just need to get things off my chest. The more I think about it the more I realize going to the career center won’t change my view on people very much. I have this problem with the society as a whole, not just my school. I for sure, know that I am no where near perfect but for some reason I just can not deal with anybody anymore, everything seems to be pissing me off now-a-days to the point where I think in my head what is wrong with everybody almost all the time. The drinking & drugs subject has gotten a lot worse with me & I honestly hate even hearing about it at all anymore. I really cannot stand when people do them, it just bothers me so much cause i’ve seen it go so wrong in so many peoples lives, & I feel like everyone is just so much better off without it. Plus I honestly believe 90% of the people that drink / smoke are only doing it to be fucking dumbasses, which pisses me off more. Maybe it’s because I hear two people talking about getting shrooms & lcd & “titty fucking” during class. I’m just so sick of everybody. I feel like i’m as low as I can get right about now & I don’t know how much more of this I can stand. I hate going to school so much, I ask my mom to stay home almost everyday cause I hate going & she never even gives a shit & just yells at me. Not to mention me falling asleep in half my classes & struggling so much to keep my grades up because my teachers are fucking dicks. The only thing that’s really keeping me somewhat happy is my boyfriend, he listens to all this bullshit i’m saying all the time & I know it’s annoying but i’m glad I have somebody to talk to about it & he doesn’t ever complain. Also, I keep thinking about how I went from like 6 close friends to fucking 1 in a year. I don’t know if it’s me or them but it makes me upset either way. I look back & think of how much fun I used to have back when I had all my friends & how much exciting stuff we’d all do, & I feel like I was so much happier then & I always think about how weird I was but I feel like that’s a good thing & now i’m just this complaining annoyed boring piece of shit. There is nothing wrong with the one friend I have, she’s a great friend & more then I probably could ever ask for but i’m even afraid now she’s gonna eventually go away. It seems like everytime somebody makes new friends I slowly drift out of the picture before I even know it. OH next subject I’ve been hating myself more lately then almost ever, I was motivated to work out for like a week & now i’m getting lazy again, I hate the way I look so much, & I hate how I am even more. I wish I didn’t hate everybody so much I wish I could just get along with everybody & be fun & ugh I don’t know I fucking hate everything

okay i’m done bitching now